Wednesday, February 1, 2012

"What's wrong with you?" and other amusing conversations

"Can you drive?"

"I don't know if I feel comfortable with you on the road..."

Most people are "polite" enough not to say anything within earshot.  Most of the time they just stare.  Blatantly.  Unlike a lot of Touretters I don't have a snarky response I resort to; I just stare people down until they feel embarrassed and look away.

"Are you okay?"

Usually followed by, "Are you sure you're okay?"

My chiropractor upon first meeting me and after staring at my skull for a while, "Does it hurt when I do this?  Huh... you have abnormal skull plate movement."
He pauses with a stumped look on his face; I offer up, "Well, I've been hitting myself in the forehead all day for the past week or so, could that do it?" 
"...So it's like a sneak attack from yourself?"

"What's wrong with you?"

"So, does this mean you are going to swear in my class?" (a professor)

"What was that noise?" (Who me?  A squeak?  Didn't hear a thing...)

On an airplane, after 2 hours of silence, as soon as the seatbelt light is off and I jump up the people sitting next to me strike up this conversation (thinking I am out of earshot).
"What was wrong with her?"
"I don't know... I think it's called Tourette's or something..."

"Ma'am, do you need help?" (TSA agent - this was the first positive interaction I've ever had with a TSA agent)

"She's just using it as an excuse to not work hard." 

"My nephew/neighbor/some kid I used to know had that; they grew out of it." (Yeah, thanks... because I never will.)

"It must be cool having Tourette's; you can swear or hit people whenever you want and not get in trouble for it." (Yeah, except not so much...)

And the best for last, a conversation with a freshman after my presentation...
Really quiet... "Have you ever... you know... smoked pot?"
I (nicely) explain that no, I never have, but there are some Touretters who do.  It's just not a choice I am going to make.
"I respect that..." He thinks for another minute or so.  "You know... If I had something like that, and meds weren't working, I think I might try it."
And by the looks of it, I think he'd already done so :)

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